Don’t Do Homeschooling Alone

Homeschooling is amazing and in my opinion, especially in today’s culture, there is no better way to educate your children. But as truly wonderful as it is, it can also be HARD work. It can feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. Honestly. If you think about it, when you are choosing to homeschool, you are taking full responsibility for your child’s entire education. That’s heavy!! It can get overwhelming and exhausting. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve stressed myself out over whether or not my child will be ready for college while they are still in ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!! Not only is that irrational, it’s also pretty common. Trust me. Ask any homeschool parent. And, that’s my point…you need other homeschool parents in your life. It is so important to find your people, your homeschool community. People to talk you down when you make yourself crazy (because you will), when you have a bad day (because you will), when you want to quit & just put your kids on the bus headed to school (because you will). You will also want those same people around you to cheer for you and your kids when things go better than you expected (because they will) and to celebrate with you over the successes (there will be many!). You need community, homeschool community.

I think that often times when people who are unfamiliar with it, hear of homeschooling, they think of isolation and seclusion. Of keeping your kids in a bubble and away from other people. Although it’s not true, on the surface, it kind of makes sense. When you decide not to put your children in school, you are deciding against a built-in community of sorts. I said before that socialization for these kids is a non-issue and I stand by that. But as a parent, you are losing your built-in community as well and I think it can be more challenging for homeschooling parents to find that community, that camaraderie. I speak from experience when I say that it’s easy to put all of your focus and attention on the needs of your children, your home, your husband, your work, that you forget that you need fellowship as well. That’s why you need to find (sometimes create) that community of like minded individuals. People who know what you’re talking about & have been there, done that. People who get it.

I am somewhat of an introvert. I have a pretty small circle of close friends and I have no qualms about rarely leaving my house. So although I don’t feel the need to constantly be around others (and quite honestly find that to be exhausting), I have learned that I do need to have some quality time with other adults who speak my language and can listen to my woes without judgement. These are my people. We need these people. We need friends that will pray with us and for us when we hit a rough patch. In homeschooling, as with anything in life, it’s not an “if”, but a “when”. You need people who have been where you are and understand that just because you might have a bad day of homeschooling or doubt yourself and what you’re doing, the solution is not to throw in the towel and send your kids to the closest public school but to take a deep breath, pray for direction & collect yourself (maybe with a handful of dark chocolate chips…in the laundry room) and remember why you signed on to this. Friends that can walk alongside you in these moments are quite simply priceless gifts from God.

There are many ways to find homeschool community. There are co-ops, classes or community schools, play groups and online or facebook groups. Many churches have groups specifically for homeschoolers. And I certainly don’t mean to imply that you have to have some huge organization to find community either. A small group of people that you can share life with can be perfect! In this particular time of social distancing & closures, online groups are a great option, but in times outside of a pandemic, in person get togethers are my preference. I’ve found that online groups (we have some amazing online groups locally) provide wonderful advice & encouragement but there’s just something so special about getting together in person. We were made for relationship & community!

If you ask many-a-homeschool mom what month of the year is the most challenging, they will most likely say February. I guess it’s because we’re coming off the holidays but have not yet hit springtime or maybe because we’re close enough to the end of the year that we can see where our kids are seemingly deficient in some areas and we get frustrated and convinced we’re ruining them. Whatever the reason, it’s true that February finds many homeschool moms convinced they can’t homeschool a minute longer. This is when, with out fail, I text this one sweet friend and explain to her that next year I am going to try something new. Christian school, maybe? If absolutely necessary, they can do a year of public school. To which she responds, “How’s Thursday for coffee? My oldest will babysit.” That’s community. You see, she has been there. And often, she’s there too! So we go get coffee and talk through it and encourage one another and decide that we can indeed homeschool for another year. I’m not kidding. This happens every year. She is such a blessing and although we don’t talk everyday (or every week for that matter), because the life of a homeschooler can be straight chaos, we understand this homeschooling thing and can pick up right where we left off the last time. This is what homeschool community does for one another. We listen, empathize, encourage and often will have coffee ready when you arrive.